If this is the last blog I ever make, do write to me in Belmarsh

The London Police have started another lovely new terror campaign, in their continuing efforts to stamp out the rampant threat of terrorism in London that threatens us all. This time they’re targetting people with multiple mobile phones and people who take photos of CCTV cameras.

So, mutiple phones looks suspicious, in that case we’re dead if the terrorists find these sim switching devices. Quick, make the technology illegal, THEN we’ll be safe.

How do you take a photograph in central London without including a CCTV camera anyway? OMG! What if the terrorists find the internet, there’s lots of photos of cctv cameras there – and maybe a map of them! Why look, the London Borough of Lambeth are terrorists.

(sigh)

And that took about 60 seconds of googling, just think what the finest terrorists on earth could achieve in an hour.

Rent

An interesting study reckons the way to sort out the rental market in London would be to encourage bigger brands and longer lets with branded build to let schemes. Now I can definitely see the attraction in this, because if I’m going to rent a property I’d rather it was modern, and well built, with someone caring for the whole block. Obviously if there’s a single owner this would be a good idea, and when you look at the proportion of new build flats that are bought solely to let as an investment there must be mileage in building such properties to be let.

Also, if I’m paying a more sensible rent for a higher quality property then I’ll either not want to buy a place or when I do I’ll actually have more of a deposit together thus negating the need to look for one of the now disappeared 125% mortgages.

There’s definitely the germ of a good idea in this, and it could be approached as a green policy if it helped foster a form of letting that encouraged owners to invest in energy efficiency and the like. Certainly as tenants move house more often than owners they are far more likely to make some form of choice based on a Home Information Pack like energy rating. And this is exactly the kind of scheme I had in my head when I objected to the new office block at the bottom of my road and instead suggested the council build something I could afford to rent/buy and live in.

And if you want to read the actual report it’s over here.

2007: now I know…

In web comics I learnt that xkcd rocks (and is worryingly accurate).
Google Reader made my internet addiction quicker and more fulfilling.
Facebook contains most of humanity (and some folk I went to school with)
Planning systems bear no relation to democracy, logic or a useful method of improving your neighbourhood.
Going to gigs a lot is great for the mind and soul but less so for the ears.
English countryside is muddy.
Web video is the way to review video games properly
People are more wonderful than even machines
Good ideas need squared paper
They Might Be Giants invented myspace (sez me)
My time is worth less than a car driver’s
Posting my emusic top 10 got me more readers than anything ever (1500 hits and counting!?)
I should have got cracking on my cack Amiga music project about four years ago

and I realised I love London

frae Auld Reekie to the Big Smoke

EdinburghLondon Aerial

It’s three years this month since I moved down here to London. I’ve failed to mark this anniversary on here for the last two years, so this seems more significant than it could. Although it is interesting (to me, anyway) to note that I’ve spent the majority of my working life here.

Moving down here was a pretty short notice thing, I think I had two and a half weeks from accepting my new job to getting on the train south. Mostly that was my own choice, I was bored of my previous job and even more bored of Edinburgh, having by then spent 22 and a bit years growing up, getting educated, going mad, finding employment, dropping out and moving home and back again a few times. In all that time I’d never spent more than a fortnight or so away from home. So it was a big wrench on my life and even sense of self to move.

Many things struck me immediately upon my arrival. First I missed the hills, then I missed the beer, the cycling, the people, the atmosphere, the ability to walk or cycle out of town in an hour or two, essentially every single good thing that occurred to me. I’d brought my music and DVDs and computer with me along with enough clothes for about a week, I had to buy some cheap speakers about a week after my arrival to hear my music without the use of headphones. Washing clothes was a critical operation at that point, I’d have brought more but I had no funds to move with so I simply packed all I could into a large rucksack and a holdall. I had four books with me, that was rather annoying and meant I read any book I could get free at work for the first few months. Life was spent washing, working (9 hours or so), commuting home and to work (3 hours or so) sleeping and eating. On a good weekday I was lucky enough to catch the news before I fell asleep in front of the telly. It was a rude awakening having been used to a five minute cycle or ten minute jog or twenty minute walk to work. Whatever spare time I had was spent trying to find somewhere good to live, whilst marvelling at the fact that it appeared to be summer.

I stared at maps long and hard before concluding that the only way I could stay sane and keep working would be to cut my commute to half an hour or less. Eventually, nearly three months after arriving and on my 13th attempt I found a place in Hammersmith. Somewhere I have the journal which records in excited scrawl that it had the best bike parking space of anywhere I’ve seen which seemed important as I’d also realised I needed to get my bike down from up north as well. Over time I found that going home semi-regularly was essential, as it was a good chance to remind myself why I’d moved south but also to move more belongings. I still remember with great joy the point about seven months after moving down that I finally got the chance to bring down my speakers having finally saved enough money to buy an amplifier to use them with.

I’ve managed to stay in the same place here in Hammersmith ever since and both it and London have had a fair effect on me. I’ve picked up some terrible London habits like going to exhibitions on their last day, getting very good at ignoring people on public transport and taking the place for granted. On the other hand I’ve been to half a dozen or more Proms, dozens of concerts, seen some amazing art, seen a giant walking mechanical elephant, been knocked off my bike, eaten in many nice places, seen some amazingly awful films at SciFi London (and even more good ones, seen outstanding theatre at the Lyric Hammersmith (bottom of my road), discovered many great farmers markets and butchers (and been to Borough Market a few times), walked back through and from South and East London late a night without being killed, experienced a few terrorist incidents and one artistic bombing of my street, taken up gardening, started a compost heap, expanded my baking abilities, discovered previously hidden talents for buying clothes, seen many friends move here (and some leave), made new friends, got closer to my relatives (who other than my immediate family live around here), seen tube trains fly through the air, seen an engineering train on the tube and filled my house with books.

Which makes it all worthwhile. I still miss my old home, but I’d also miss here just as much if I left.

Le Tour De France 2007

Le Tour De France Prologue 2007

Bikes! lots of them, and all over the roads of London and South-East England. Yes, as you might guess I really enjoyed the Tour’s start here in the capital. Shockingly despite many holidays in France I’d never seen the Tour properly before so it was a spectacle in itself to see a premier league race such as the tour rather than something simpler like The Tour Of Britain.

The Prologue on Saturday had an enormous crowd but thanks to big screens and a lengthy route it was really easy (I thought) to get a spot on the barriers. To describe the Tour experience properly I’d need more photos, but I foolishly failed to charge the batteries in my camera before heading out. First to come past is the publicity caravan which includes this sort of blatant promotional nonsense. Particularly cool was Sea France’s truck-disguised-as-a-ferry which had a remarkably good sounding horn. The most scary thing was the australian themed one with the kangaroo on top which featured a frenchman speaking in an australian accent, or an australian speaking with a french accent depending on which you noticed first. The mad dash people made for the Haribo that reached the crowd bordered on the psychotic.

After that there was lots of riders and some mechanics (wearing their Jeans and looking very out of place) testing out the course before over three hours of rider after rider setting times. The atmosphere was amazing with cheers and applause for every passing rider, and a noticeable roar for every British rider and Tour Hero. David Millar got by far the best roar of anyone, which he clearly sought to reward today with his daring ride. Best of all thanks to all the screens there was applause and cheering all round whenever a new fastest time was set. A special mention to the police who took turns between the French and the British to lead riders round, as my housemate noted our humble plod were in full leathers with high viz jackets whereas the French were in shirtsleeves.

All in all, a great day rounded off nicely with a great depart this morning. I almost feel optimistic about 2012.

Do you use an Oystercard Tony?

Yes, it’s the burning question on Londoners lips, and naturally my (evil Tory) MP has opted to ask it. Is there nothing Blair can give a straight answer to?

Greg Hands (my Tory MP)
To ask the Prime Minister
(1) whether he uses an Oyster Card in fulfilling his official responsibilities;
(2) whether the Oyster Card he was filmed with for television on 27 April is one he uses in fulfilling his official duties.

Tony Blair (Prime Minister)
I travel making the most efficient and cost-effective arrangements. My travel arrangements are in accordance with the arrangements for official travel set out in Chapter 10 of the Ministerial Code, and the accompanying guidance document, “Travel by Ministers”.

Meanwhile he’s also signed an early day motion for the RECOMMISSIONING OF CONCORDE AS ROYAL AIR FORCE ONE (why is all caps still in fashion in Westminster?) and another which has a go at Time Out for failing to include (lovely) Kingston in their London for Londoners guide.

I’m sure he does some real work as well.

elephant of london

A giant elephant roaming through the centre of London counts as “good art” in my book. I wandered in for a couple of hours today to see said creature with some friends and somehow conrtived to arrive at Piccadilly just as it was going past. Click on the giant elephant to see the rest at flickr though I have more to upload later, just as soon as I convince my sd card reader to play ball.

the pleasure of living in London

So, I got stuck in a small traffic jam on the way out of my house yesterday. Various police were zooming around on mopeds and talking animatedly, and hordes of police vans were descending on the area. I assumed that there was some form of a drugs raid going on. It would appear truth is stranger still, with a local “artist” dumping packages containing nails in parts of my area including my street.

Now, I can defend modern art up to a point when it just tries to create a stir. However, there’s something a little tackless in dropping dummy bombs in an area of London that had a failed bombing within the last year, merely a fortnight after 7/7 itself. And it’s the not only terrorism in the history of my street either, there was a cache of IRA guns above the shops oppostite my house in 1970.

Songs of 2005

2005 was a very good year for music, and I don’t think I’ve ever listenned to such a wide variety of music and delved back over my old favourites quite so much. This may be because I bought a (semi-) decent amplifier at long last in the spring, and coupled it back to my favourite KEF Cherry 1 speakers and associated nice speaker cable. Despite this, my mp3 collection hasn’t yet outgrown the 200GB drive it calls home, but it is getting very close.

So, here’s my favourite songs of 2005 from my favourite albums. I’ve picked key tracks and grouped them into various types. I have included some tracks from 2004 that I may well not have raved about yet.

1. Want Two – 02 – Rufus Wainwright – The One You Love (3:43)
2. Oh You’re So Silent Jens – 05 – Jens Lekman – Black Cab (4:54)
3. Illinois – 16 – Sufjan Stevens – They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From the Dead!! Ahhhhh! (5:09)
4. Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lake State – 08 – Sufjan Stevens – Oh Detroit, Lift Up Your Weary Head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!) (8:20)
5. Seven Swans – 10 – Sufjan Stevens – He Woke Me Up Again (2:43)
6. Kitty Jay – 04 – Seth Lakeman – Kitty Jay (3:12)

The mopey folk/indie section. It’s natural that I have one but I see all of these as a fight back against the James Blunts of the world. Rufus is only here for this song, despite many listens I can’t get into any of his albums but if he can make something further like The One You Love he might stand a chance. Jens Lekman has just become a Pitchforkmedia darling, but rightly so, and thanks to emusic he was cheap. Black Cab is a great song of public transportation, social awkwardness and late night parties. Sufjan Stevens is a continuation of my strange fascination with Christian culture, though he’s hardly a crucifix waving nutter, he just likes to put the lord into song every now and then. Illinois and Michigan have been the first two states to benefift from his 50 states project, which puts John Linnell’s State Songs into the shade. All of these songs share the grand instrumentation he has now perfected, and for me put Rufus to shame, especially as you can acutally hear the words, and they are good. Kitty Jay was a mercury music prize revelation, and the album is a nice little grower of modern folk.

7. LCD Soundsystem – 03 – LCD Soundsystem – Tribulations (4:59)
8. The Milk of Human Kindness – 01 – Caribou – Yeti (5:01)
9. Elephant Eyelash – 03 – Why? – Rubber Traits (4:01)
10. Sanddollars EP – 02 – Why? – 500 Fingernails (2:27)
11. Hell Yes – EP – 03 – Beck – BAD CARTRIDGE (E-Pro) [Remix] (2:54)
12. Shamelessly Exciting – 05 – Jason Forrest – Nightclothes and Headphones (feat. Laura Cantrell) (4:31)

Now into the one man band electro nutters section. LCD Soundsystem burst onto the scene with Losing My Edge what feels like a decade ago, but amazingly he’s only had one album out to date, and more to the point it was good. Caribou used to be Manitoba until he got involved in an evil law suit of doom. His third album was every bit as incisive as expected, though a bit of a hangover for the 60s psychedelia of Up In Flames, but in a good way. Why? has now matured and taken on a full band, but both of these tracks show the genius of Yoni Wolf’s use of lyrics and rythmn. Beck’s Guero was a massive disappointment, but this remix of E-Pro is a thing of genius that let me forgive him, mostly. Lastly, we have about the only decent tribute to John Peel, which comes from a bizarre combination of urban country lovely Laura Cantrell (whose new album was alright, but nothing special) and the insane Jason Forrest. Just the kind of combination Peel might have liked, I think.

13. Funeral – 07 – Arcade Fire – Wake Up (5:35)
14. Two More Years / Hero – 01 – Bloc Party – Two More Years (4:06)
15. Twin Cinema – 08 – The New Pornographers – Sing Me Spanish Techno (4:16)
16. Picaresque – 07 – The Decemberists – 16 Military Wives (4:52)

Time for some actual bands. Everyone loves Arcade Fire, and to pick a favourite song is tricky, but Wake Up edges it. Bloc Party I’ve never really gotten into much, but Two More Years is a perfect song. Took me a large number of months and much indifference to finally listen to New Pornographers after finding myself googling for the “spanish techno song”. The Decemberists I should possibly love, but so far only 16 Military Wives has melted my heart fully.

17. The Upper Cuts – 09 – Alan Braxe and Friends – Rubicon (6:16)
18. Aimee Tallulah is hypnotised – 01 – The Emperor Machine – The TV Extra Band (4:44)
19. Ratatat – 01 – Ratatat – Seventeen Years (4:26)
20. OK Cowboy – 02 – Vitalic – Poney, Part 1 (5:23)

Time for a small electronica break. The Alan Braxe (and Fred Falke mainly) album was unexpected but is a great collection of various EPs, that had it been released LCD Soundsystem style with an album might have made some chart headway. Rubicon is a marvellous example of the expansive nature of their sound, which made up for the complete and utter failure that was the new Daft Punk album. Emperor New Machine and Ratatat are both 2004 holdovers which I still find time to listen to on a whim pretty regularly. The TV Extra Band is a lovely slice of SciFi electronica and Seventeen Years is a great piece of wailing guitars and keyboards that cannot fail to satisfy. Poney, Part 1 is another piece of french dance pop which has been around for ages but has only now had a convenient album release. It remains a great tune.

21. Raintown – 08 – Deacon Blue – Dignity (3:59)
22. The Glasgow School – 13 – Orange Juice – Satellite City (2:43)

Blink and you’ll miss it, the Scots corner of oldie delights. I gave in to nostalgia and grabbed some cheap Deacon Blue albums in the spring. Not regretted it as it brings back memories of listenning to them in the strange world of late 80s/early 90s Scotland. Dignity remains a pinacle in their work as a great evocation of working class west cost aspirations. Whereas I’d really never heard any Orange Juice, but gave in to buying The Glasgow School on the grounds that I liked Edwyn Collins later stuff. Possibly my favourite reissue of the year, and an excellent soundtrack to my fortnight in Scotland for the Worldcon.

23. Operation: Doomsday – 19 – MF Doom – I Hear Voices (Part One) (3:02)
24. Under an Hour – 01 – Menomena – Water (17:57)
25. DJ-Kicks: Annie – 04 – Le Tigre – Nanny Boo Boo (Junior Senior mix) (3:24)
26. Anniemal – 04 – Annie – Me Plus One (3:38)
27. The Mouse and the Mask – 03 – Danger Doom – The Mask (feat. Ghostface) (3:12)

Strictly speaking I Hear Voices is an old track, but never mind – it’s worth seeking out as a great use of A)samples of Fantastic Four story tapes and B) the rapping of Victor Vaughn, as heard on Madvillain. Menomena should to be honest have captured the limelight in an Arcade Fire fashion. Impressively they took the bold step of recording their second album as the soundtrack to a series of three twenty minute modern dance pieces. Le Tigre’s latest album suffered a little in the production and from being over laboured in some ways, but thankfully Junior Senior’s mix of Nanny Boo Boo recovered their wit and fun. Annie is the ultimate in thinking pop and her album was in many ways Richard X’s second. Love Plus One is almost certainly a dig Geri Halliwell for locking Richard X in a car and demanding that he produce a song for her. The Mask is a further appearance from that Villainous Victor Vaughn, and one from this year. An album that uses Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim as the basis does not sound promising, but it works all too well.

28. Matson Jones – 08 – Matson Jones – He Means Nothing, Dear (5:07)
29. DJ-Kicks: Annie – 05 – Zongamin – Bongo Song (5:09)
30. Dead Horse – 07 – Cassetteboy – Yer Little Pipe Dream (1:06)
31. Symbol – 04 – Susumu Yokota – Song Of The Sleeping Forest (4:19)

Weird instrument time. Matson Jones is the perfection of Cello Indie Rock – something that makes me a little sad to have given up the instrument on the grounds that it bored me. Zongamin returned to the scene with a number of random songs but no new album. Of those I have tracked down, Bongo song is easily the best and sounds roughly how you’d expect a song with lots of bongo samples to. Cassetteboy is always a lover of drum loops, and whilst not strictly a weird instrument his use of samples of the human or indeed celebrity voice has come on miles with his latest album. Susumu Yokota made an album of remixed classical music which managed not to be as hideous as that sounds, which also managed to fit marvellously into his own cannon of works.

32. Soul Limbo – 06 – Booker T. And The M.G.’s – Soul Limbo (2:24)
33. Porque Te Vas – 02 – Jeanette – Porque Te Vas (3:23)
34. Cassetteboy – Mick’s Tape – 31 – Fela Kuti – Water Get No Enemy (4:18)
35. The Big Express (remastered) – 04 – XTC – Seagulls Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her (3:50)
36. Imperial Bedroom – 01 – Elvis Costello & The Attractions – Beyond Belief (2:34)
37. 6- And 12-String Guitar – 12 – Leo Kottke – Busted Bicycle (2:48)

And finally, the old songs I still love. Soul Limbo should be the cricket theme but isn’t, damn them – perhaps Sky can use it. Porque Te Vas will never leave my head. Fela Kuti lingers in my mind from many Andy Kershaw plays over the years but thanks to cassetteboy of all people I now have a track to love properly. I hit a big XTC kick later in the year and the great song poem that is Seagulls Screaming came to be the ultimate fasication of it. The ever continuing exposure to grumpy geek rock man in chief, Elvis Costello continued with a further love for Imperial Bedroom, a much underrated album featuring some great production. Finally, Leo Kottke used to be played at me a lot by my old flatmate, and has proven to be great music for listenning to on long walks around London.

So, 37 tracks that made 2005 good. How long until I hit the first track of 2006?

2006 – a year of creation

2005 was a strange year.
It’s the first full year I’ve had down here in London, and it is still down here as I’m only just getting used to it being my home rather than Edinburgh. Of the many things I’ve done in 2005, the most rewarding has been the baking.

gingercake mix

So it was only proper that I made a cake today, a further variation on the ginger cake in Nigel Slater’s Kitchen Diaries with mixed peel in the place of sultanas on the grounds that I don’t have any sultanas in the cupboard and that mixed peel is the best baking ingredient in the world.

gingercake oven

I don’t think I’ve ever blogged so little as the past few months, and while the fanzine idea is great and is happening – it didn’t really catch fire in 2005. There’s all manner of longer pieces up my sleeves and I feel in the mood for writing more, not least because I now have a nice clean new keyboard to write them on.

baked ginger cake

So, as ever, the proof will be in the eating but the aim of the year is to bake and cook more. Take some photographs with the new camera (a digital SLR at last – now that’s a good Christmas and Birthday present). I would be offering you some delightful photos of London today were it not for the fact that the January sales were far too tempting, and also the light was the greyer than grey.

May 2006 bring all of you dear (dimishing no doubt) readers all that you wish. I’ll be raving over the next few days on the Music, TV, and even Books that made staying in during 2005 worthwhile. The Theatre, Films and exhibitions that made 2005 worthwhile have almost all gone in one way or another (though if you are in London see Ibsen’s Pillars of the Community at the National Theatre – it’s ace).